and i don't know how else to express myself than with a keyboard, i can't use a pen because my hand starts to hurt and i can't use my mouth because there's no point.
so i'm settling for this.
I think life is like a paved sidewalk, people work so hard to pave over things and make them seem easy, and to make it easier than taking a bumpy dirt road.. but there's always ditch's and footprints and trash that gets in the way. and sometimes its easier to fall then to watch where your going. But when you fall on pavement, you fall much harder than you would on a dirt road.
pavement is like rock. and that hurts.alot.
you cross path's and you make path's, but in the end it's not about wether you stumbled or fell, in the end it's where you came from and the great journey to a point when you can look back and know you've lived your life.
Its hard to put what i am thinking in words right now because so much is happening in my head that i can't seem to find peace, a moment to put everything together in a string and tie it in a bow.
I just think that Tonya's mum can hate me if she wants. i don't know what i did to deserve her hate, but i have it. I could hate her back, she's done many things to me that could justify my hate for her.. but life is more than that. and it's really not worth it.
she doesen't have to accept me.
but i accept her.
people are people and they make mistakes, they stumble on the paths they create and they bump into other people going the same way, but in my opinion stumbling,tripping and mistakes shouldent make hatred arise.and i mean sure, it hurts. but really. build yourself a bridge and get over it.
it's much easier to see it as it is in a bigger picture than it is to have it all over your face.
people may scare you, bump you,push you but in the end its about how you handled it. your not going to remember how someone said this or someone did that, your going to remember what a good person you were or tried to be. so go out into the world and be the person you imagin yourself to be, show the world your not scared of obsticles, get in your car and fucking drive.
you may miss people you may hurt and cry but what the fuck. its life. and it happens. don't live too much in the past, and always give friends chances. because a friendship with limited chances is hardly a friendship at all. PEOPLE TRIP. PEOPLE STUMBLE. BUT PEOPLE CAN CATCH THEMSELVES. don't wait for someone to do everything for you, because in the end you'll have nothing. god damnit don't pretend like you don't know what's going down here.
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i might just be talking nonsense. but its my nonsense. and i sorta kinda like it.
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala..
