lonesome on my ownsome..

ahaha awful photo. but who really cares ?

so this long weekend was really good. even though i STILL have a headache. dont really know why ( ive had it since sunday morn ) buuuut anyways...

MY GOD I AM SO LONESOME. well. i mean, like, i know what your answer will be to this, but I JUST REALLY THINK I NEED A BOYFRIEND. like sweet god. its about time, am i right ?

your answer :the whole world wants a boyfriend, budd.

( okay i realise thats what i told you when you said you wanted a boydfriend.. but still )

its weird. i still really like him. but its like.. i use to think he was everything. you know ? and now its like the more i fall out of love with him, the more he pulls moves on me ?

IDK. i still really really like him X 100000000. but . do you know what i am saying ?

its like when he ignores me, i just think 'why do i even like this guy ?!' and then he pays attention to me and im all ' this is why, look at his eyes, his hair, his smile.. his personality.. almost like hes perfect' BUT FUCKING HELL. 

i guess its all part of being a girl.

sometimes i wonder if i just get an actual boyfriend if he'll be jelous. or even care.

a part of me is like ... you know he would mackenzie. and another part of me is like 'are you so sure ?' 

godamn teenage angst. NAM SAYIN' !?

i just remember i tried to be what i thought he wanted. and he didnt seem to feel it. ( if you know what i am talking about ) but the more im like FUCK IT. and im just myself. the more he pulls his moves.

BUT WHY THE FUCK DOES HE ONLY DO IT WHEN HE DRINKS.

slash.

he looks at me and im all ' okay you cant look at someone like that without liking them '

but he only ever does anything physical ( and not that much phsicalness at that ) when hes been drinking.

PEWP PEWP PEWP.

ahaha oh man.

im such a looooser.

im pretty sure he's coming over tonight. i hope he stays over.

fml.