rethought.

oh... hey there blogerong. YES. i know. i said peace out to you before, said i wasnt going to write on you anymore. that i was frustrated and teenage angsty and well, a teenaged girl, basically. I have given up on not writing on here, as i was looking at it last night and realised how much i missed blabbering on here and it made me think FUCK IT, so here i am. back. smiles all round? It seems there is alot going on in my life at the moment. but at the same time it seems mundane and dead. does that make sense? no. things that are going on : at the moment? sitting in my kitchen with my dog, coby. listening to the menu music for 'skins' play over and over again. what's happening in the world? Northern's registration was today. Or, is today, rather. I have been wanting to go shopping for a really long time. I've already decided the kinds of things i would enjoy buying, such as this certain skirt from american apparel, a new pair of seeing eye glasses ( as i broke mine during rangers ), an old man sweater, a cute party top, etc etc. Then i really thought about it ( well, not quite. i literally JUST thought about it. and here we are.. already talking in the past tense ) i don't really like that i have been buying from these big companys such as american apparel, it seems so.. bleh. overpriced and just.. ergh. I want to go to kensington and walk around with the crack heads, smell the dirty fish air and be all.... well. i don't know./ i actually do that alot. (lolz).
whatever.
onto better things, well, i mean more important things..like: RANGERS. SO. GREAT. this summer i was a ranger and it was acrually such a great time. i mean in the moment it was hard, anoying and sometimes i felt like giving up and going home. but looking back it really taught me a lot. AND NOW I HAVE $$$$$ FOR CLOTHING AND GTZZZ.
okay. but i guess there is a REAL reason why i am writing on here... sort of. let's get to it. shall we?
Ben's leaving for afghanistan. WHAT IS THIS. when he told me i wasn't really suprised at all. I know he's been wanting to do it forever. he's talked about it for as long as i have known him (sorta). and sure, i don't want him to go. and it makes me worry with every inch of my body, but i never want to take something away from him. not that i even could. so i made it seem like i was okay with it. i am. derp. im confusing myself. i am going to end this now because im sick of trying to put words together that make sense... and try to explain how i feel about that, when all i feel is emotion and i don't know what words describe exactly what i am feeling.
well. it was nice typing to you again dear blogerong.
Must go attempt to find cell phone. most likely will be a fail.