robot.

i feel very small today.

different.

i am changing ! whooray !

i am no longer sittting around doing nothing all day ( not that i did that before, but i am doing it LESS )

ahahha a car just went by with intense techno.

anyways.

yeah so today i went out with shawn and tonya and we got manicures.

i decided on black nailpolish.

it seemed like a good idea at the time.

then we went to shawns house and watched AQUAMARINE ( i heart that movie )

then me and tonya left.

now i am here.

=|

...home alone.

i have no idea where my family is.

i'll just sit here and listen to WHAM for another..hour

AWESOME :D

ps. i had a sleepover with tonya last night. i slept on the couch.

my back is killing me.

bellff.

no. i didn't tease my hair.

and yes, i realise i'm a huge tool.

this has to be fast. cause the latest buzz is on soon and i wan't to have time to make popcorn.

AHAHAHAH.

yeah. i really did just say that.

oh...me.

anyways. i am going to try and get a job somewhere if i can.

hopefully a fast food restaraunt, for jokes.

i'm hoping i can get a name tag that says something so random.

like.

bon qui qui.

or like..

shakezey.

shanequa.

i don't know.

ahahahahahah

ghetto names <3 

soup shoes?

i had a dream the other day and it had to do with me having tomato soup shoes?

tonya was there.

and we we're at school.

we we're sick.

and we needed shoes?

so tonya's dad brought us

tomato soup shoes

aka : bowls on wheels with a cover.

you wear it with your socks on.and it has to be full of 

TOMATO SOUP.

when i woke up i was like

"i'm going to make millions"

then 20 minutes later i was like "WTF?! this is worse than my idea about 

SINKS WITH SHAG CARPET IN IT.

yeah.

pretty much.

i had some more shananigans to talk about. 

but i seem to have misplaced my brain.

psssst.. i lost. 

seriously..

this guy. who's my dad's friend.(kinda)

is SUPER anoying. and he always comes over for dinner. and everyime he does i'm like :| GO THE HELL AWAY.

he's here now.

god damnit.

get the fuck outta my house.

warned you.

i cam whore.

and you love it.

a weird way to end a weird day

so i was sitting here, all waiting to talk on skype with wayne.

and i hear crying?

my older brother was crying in his room? 

i have no idea why. but i listened for like 20 seconds, i coulden't take it anymore. so i went in there and put his head in my lap and just talked to him, for atleast an hour.

i think he's better now.

i have no idea what made him so sad. i didn't ask.

i haven't heard him cry since he was like 12.

suuuper weird.

but also, i have to admit, i was kind of..sad...and scared.

we pretty much talked about a club he went to tonight,ben,my new school,hair gel and ghetto asians?

random.i know. but they all came up somehow and it made reid happy. so i'm happy for that.

thank goodness i wasn't asleep.

anyways i should hit the sack. schoool.

but it's nice to see how we can,kind of, come together when we know someone needs us. y'know? it was like a freaking scene from a movie.

i asked. and reid said that he's not mad about me liking bl, he said he doesen't care.

anyways. goodnight internet world.

hello.. dream land? da fuck?

ps. ahahah naww.. i'll save this topic for another blog, another time. for now i need some mother fuckin' Z's.

GHETTO GURL OUtt'.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. i really did just say that.

beautiful eyes.

your beautiful eyes

stare right into my eyes

and sometimes i think about you late at  night

I don't know why

i wanna be somewhere where you are

i wanna be where

you're  here 

your eyes are lookin' into mine

so baby make me fly

my heart has never felt this way before

i'm lookin' through your eyes 

i'm lookin' through your eyes

I wake up i'm alive

in only a little while

i'll cry

cause your my lullaby

so hold me tight 

'Cause I

wanna be everything you need 

i wanna be where

your here 

you're eyes lookin' into mine

so baby make me fly

my heart has never felt this way before

i'm lookin' through your 

i'm lookin' through your eyes

just as long as your mine 

i'll be your everything tonight

let me love you kiss you

let me see your

dream about

dream about

dream about your eyes

eyes

eyes

beautiful eyes.

--- Taylor Swift.

( they don't let you copy and paste so that took me forever to write out. totally worth it. *sigh*  'his' beautiful eyes )

supsupsupsupsupsup

                                                    me wishing i was taylor swift...

SO YOU FINALLY POSTED I SEE !!! :)

so i'm sitting here in this ("my") temporary apartment. i'll take you through my day, and you'll understand...hopefully..

so i woke up. late. i left the house at 8: 10. drove to school listening to news updates about rihanna ( not actually listening ). got to school. WASNT LATE. (first time not being late)

actually, i was the first one in the class..

learned a few things inbetween daydreams.

had the morning prayer. 

and listened to O'Canada.

blahblahblah.

got my certificate in safety. ( now i can get more jobs ? )

blahblahblah

had an awkward lunch with some weird kids that are way older than me.

went to thirds.

got yelled at for being in 'paint' on the computer ( i was drawing wayne ).

watched 'animal farm'.

went to fourth.

pretended to care about math.

got called 'Alexander'.

got my self home somehow.

got a cavity filled.

drooled a bit.

and daydreamed some more.

WHAT YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM THIS : i day dream waaaay too much.

seriously. i can't wait to switch school's next year. then i wont have to copy out part's of the bible as punishment.

...i don't even understand most of it

anyways. so i'm here now listening to john mayer. and daydreaming. as usual. 

I miss something. but i can't put my finger on it.

having a math test tomorrow.

CHEERIO.

ps. i heart the latest buzz. it has to be the greatest thing since sliced bread. and 'noah jackson' ( actor: justin kelly) has to be the only reason why i watch it. i swear. 'his' twin. and... skfjhufgdufd  i just. love it. <3

pps. shoutout : SUPSUPSUPSUPSUPSUPSUPSUPSUP... shawn 

oh..

i kind of just realised.

me liking him would be like a 12 year old liking me... jesus fucking christ. i must be so anoying.

ps. my cousin took her macbook into get fixed and when she got it back there was a picture of a penis in her photobooth.

ahahahah how unfortunate.

i have some news.

.. not actually. i'm mad bored. i think i'm going to go practice ballet.

FUN FACT :

i have been watching WAY too much CMT recently. i have started taking country music seriously. :|

also : Journey is a timeless band. i love how no matter where you play it everyone knows the words and starts to sing along. so random.

.. or maybe that's just where i hang out/with... i'm fucked.

aight.aight. grace kelly.grace kelly. grace kelly.

AHAHAHA... damnit.

okay.

when i wrote that last blog.. my plan totally worked, FYI. he came back and i was all cool. he stared, hardcore. so :) yay.

but what i actually wanted to say:

i was in math today and we had a sub... so i was like :| ( its the third day in a row we've had a sub ) and i wrote down all the work to do ( so i could do it for homework) and then the sub leaves, and we get a different sub ?

...i found out later he's the dance teacher at this school.

anyways

he was REALLY gay. and i dont mean that in a bad way. it was just hard to concentrate because he was like... prancing around.. and his voice.. i dont know how to explain. and i probobly sound like such a jerk. but if you were there. you would understand.

so i was sitting with this random group of girls and they were all drawing random shizz and i was chatting with them. and then.. he comes up and is all " i'd appreciate it if you payed attention" and i was all " kay.." NOT. i didnt pay attention. and he did one question on the board and then he came over and was all " PAY ATTENTION OR I'M GOING TO TELL SIR YOU WERENT PAYING ATTENTION" and i was like "...fine" so i go sit back in my normal spot next to beverley. and...

he was like " copy the answers" and i was like " i dont really see a point in copying answers i dont learn anything.." do you understand that? like. makes sense. but in the end he made me copy it all down. i have no idea what any of it means.

oh yeah. and he was like mad at me for talking and was like " MACKENZIE blahblahblha (lots of nonsense shit) TO GOD WE TEACH HIS OWN" ( or some jesus thing ) and my facial expression went from :| to.. just... really disgusted.

the whole jesus aspect of catholic school really creeps me out.

and he was like " dont look at me that way"

and i was like " please dont talk like that it scares me"

and he was like YOUR IN A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.

and im like JUST CAUSE I WAS FORCED TO GO TO THIS GHETTO SHITTY SCHOOL DOESENT MEAN I'M CATHOLIC DONT FUCKING PREACH TO ME YOU FAG.

( i didnt say it like that)

i was pretty pissed. i dont know why.

in the end i learned nothing.

except maybe.. the dance teacher is gay. and has alotta sass. AND IS A TOTAL DICK FACE.

no pun intended.

the way he said everything though. like he was better than everyone else. fuckin' A.

it's a nice day

eeeee KITTY CAT LAMP. ;D

i hate having my computer in our "living room" its so awkward. there's almost always atleast 3 people in the same room. so you feel like everyone is reading whatever your typing. weird.

my stomach hurts right now. and i dont know why. perhaps from dissapointment ?

DISSAPOINTING THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TODAY:

- i thought 'the latest buzz' was going to be on at 8 : 30... i was wrong.

- i saw B.L but i was wearing my kilt AND FELT SO UGLY so i shoved my face into a math text book for 5 minutes and when asked what i was doing, i replied " i really like this book"

- i put on a rad outfit and makeup waiting for him and reid to return for dinner. they havent returned.

- my tutor found out who i like and wont stop teasing me.

- i made a joke to some gangsters. Don't ever do that. really. they have no humor.

this is how it went down.

( G's walk up to me offering ciggarettes)

G: do you smoke ?

M: only if i'm on fire

G: =| ( walks away )

mad awkward.

anyways. onto.. other things..

i can kind of hear the elevator from my suite. so i sit here and i'm all :D whenever i hear it being used. 

i'm a fag. i know.

i painted my left hand's nail's purple. it looks terrible. so i didnt do the right hand.

i have no nail polish remover.

...ye

i think i may puke ?

my vest is on WAY to tight and its putting pressure on one of my nerves in my neck, giving me a migrain and the sense of puking.

... but i dont want to take it off incase he comes back

i hate house plants.

i like roses.

hm.....

yepp my head hurts.

bleh.

okay i loosened the top button if he comes back i can just do it up.

soo... i dont know why i am writing this ??

i feel like such a dick right now...

GOOD NOTE :

i DID do the hussle today.

and a shitty slut dance in my room.

OH and some ballet.

YAY BALLET !

i have ballet tomorrow...

y..yeah.

i'm going to pass out soon. and it's not even 9'

THATS JUST PATHETIC.

but... i do have to get up at 7 : 30 everyday.

its so exausting.

i want to sleep.

but... noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooononononononononononononononononononononononononono!!!!

if there is any hope that he is coming back yar i am going to wait up.

blah.

COME THE FUCK BACK.

i guess that's it for now.

... i really hate having my computer in this room