re evaluation.

nothing could get in the way of my happiness ? HA. thats a joke. why did i think that was even legit? ( i'll have to re read that post ) but anyways. onto today.. BASICALLY. i am so upset right now. reid is being so mean to me. and i seriously dont know why. i know i havent done anything wrong. i just feel like maybe he is right. maybe its wrong for me to like his bestfriend.. maybe its weird i hang out with him more than he does. i still feel like he should be happy for us though. but maybe thats just me.
i'm sitting in my room alone, almost in tears. the fan is on full blast behind me, the sun is setting & angus and julia stone fills the silence. you'd think that would be pretty awesome. normally, it would be. BUT THIS IS SUM GAY SHIT RIGHT HURR.
(basically: ) yesterday i cleaned up the house for almost 2 hours.. and reid wouldent help me at all. he wouldnt even answer me when i talked to him. he doesent even say hi to me anymore. COMMON COURTESY. beside the point. but still.
then i had to go to meet my friends and spencer was like " hey, why dont you take over after kenz?" ( all reid was doing was sitting on the couch watching TV) and reid just, like, exploded. being like " i dont make the mess so i wont clean it!" and i'm like" you think i made all this mess? you think i am the only one who drops crumbs on the ground ? NO. its a common space, everyone should fucking help" and he was like. yeah. but no. and i was just so fed up. he was all " i cant help because im leaving" JOKES. he wasnt leaving. he only said that to get out of helping. HOW CHILDISH ARE YOU?! then today he made mac n cheese for everyone ( JOKES. NOT EVERYONE. he was suppose to make it for everyone. and there was nuff. but he decided to give everyone HUGE portions so i got none. thanks reid. then we all were going to clean the kitchen after eating. and he was like " oh. well i made the food (mess) therefore i shouldnt have to help clean it" i understand where he is coming from. but wiping down a table instead of sitting on your ass playing guitar IS NOT such a big sacrifice. it would make me feel bad for ACTUALLY wanting mom and dad to kick you out. but no. you have to be the generic asshole i have you pinned down for in my head. so i'm , like seething at this point. and my dad chimes in with " reid and i put 20 minutes in to cleaning up today" and i'm like I PUT TWO FUCKING HOURS IN YESTERDAY BUT THAT DIDNT EXCUSE ME FROM HELPING. FUCK YOU. then spencer, reid and whitey leave to go get beer and ben and i finnish cleaning the kitchen ( YOUR WELCOME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES) and i am so angry i am almost to the point of tears. just everything adding up. i really dont feel that i deserve being treated this way. he's been so mean to me all week and this is just me explaining on senario. but allow me to continue.
so they come back. and i go and sit in the living room and reid says " how was the diddle?" FUCK YOU. WE WERE BUSY CLEANING UP YOUR MACARONI MESS. WE WERENT DIDDLING. FUCK YOUUU. and then he's like " wheres mic mac? " and bens like "she ran away" and reids like " good. lets hope she stays gone." and bens like " your a dick" and reids like " I DONT GIVE A SHIT".
and then i went upstairs, pretty much crying to write you this.
TADA.